The Books of To-day and the Books of To-morrow, September 1905
TRAIN.—Something that stops frequently.
RAIN.—Something that hardly ever stops.
THE SEA.—A simple but effective machine for reducing the surplus population.
PLEASURE STEAMER.—An ingenious device for stimulating patriotism. An hour on a pleasure steamer brings home to us more thoroughly than anything else could do the beauty of staying in our native land.
CAPTAIN.—A tactful person who says that it is the roughest passage he has known for twenty years.
THE CHANNEL CROSSING.—See Vegetarianism, Aids to.
RAILWAY REFRESHMENTS.—See Hari-Kari, Methods of.
THE START.—There are two kinds of start, the start for our holiday resort, and the start at our holiday resort. The latter is the one we give when our first week’s bill is presented.
SHARKS.—Seldom found in British waters, but plentiful on shore. See Landladies, Habits of.
THE CONTINENT.—A place where the traveller usually considers himself privileged to be incontinent.
PARIS.—An American city, much resorted to by Frenchmen.
MONTE CARLO.—An unhealthy spot. Many people, including Lord Rosslyn, have found it bad for their systems.
SWITZERLAND.—Full of stiff climbs and stiffer hotel charges.
ROME.—Visitors to Rome try to do as the Romans do, but it usually ends in their being done instead. Among the sights are St. Peter’s, the Coliseum, and the spot where Mr. Hall Caine first conceived the idea of The Eternal City.
Printed unsigned; entered by Wodehouse in Money Received for Literary Work.