¹ [A doctor states that beer is better for one than tea, “if one has the wickedness to drink it.”]

Doctor, why this innuendo?
 Why this bitter thrust at beer?
Why this attitude, my friend? Oh,
 Why this keen, sub-acid sneer?
Scores of men of limpid virtue
Hold the view that ale can’t hurt you.

On this interesting topic,
 Let me tell that I know
Men who’re highly philanthropic
 On a daily pint or so,
Who, with souls by sin uncankered,
Quaff the matutinal tankard.

Men of learning, modern Platos,
 When the hour of lunch draws near,
With their chop and fried potatoes
 Order—say, a pint of beer;
Even Shakespeare, some affirm, made
Light of bitter at the “Mermaid.”

So, where genius, saint and martyr
 All securely place their feet,
Shall I pose as a non-starter
 When a friend would fain stand treat?
Never, till my life desert me!
(Thanks, another wouldn’t hurt me.)

P. G. W. 

“One of the most injudicious things is to drink tea with a meat meal,” said Dr. Drought at an inquest at Hackney. “Tea checks the flow of gastric juice, which is necessary to digestion. Water with meals, or, if one has the wickedness to drink it, beer, is far better than tea. Tea is all very well as refreshment between meals.” (Hull Daily Mail, Monday, 17 September 1906)

—John Dawson