Daily Express, Saturday, February 6, 1904
FISCAL PROBLEMS FOR BREAKFAST.
[With Apologies to a Contemporary.]
I.—THE TWO POLITICIANS.
Two Free Fooders, Campbell and Bannerman, start making speeches at different ends of the country on a certain day. In the first two speeches, which are made at intervals of fifteen days, they hold identical views; but in the third Campbell contradicts Bannerman twice. In the fourth and fifth Bannerman disproves eight of the points which Campbell made in his first speech and one which he made in his second speech. Assuming that both are persevering, and that neither succumbs to clergyman’s sore throat, how long will it be before their opinions are once more identical?
II.—LITTLE PRIMROSE’S FOOD.
Little Primrose asks his friend Dook to come and play in his yard, and their nurses arrange a day on which they are to dine together. It is Dook’s habit to go to sleep at irregular intervals during his meals; while Primrose, being of opinion that his food will cost him more, insists upon a menu composed exclusively of dry biscuits. Estimate the chances of the meal proving a roaring success.
III.—FREE FOOD PUZZLE.
It is found necessary for the welfare of the Free Food party to elect a leader every second week, whose duty it is to reconcile the party. Each of these leaders is drawn from the body of the party, and quarrels with his fellow leaders. When will the party consist entirely of leaders, and what will be the result of their efforts to reconcile one another?
IV.—WAS IT A MEETING?
According to the “Daily News,” the Liberal Unionist Association cannot meet without the consent of the Duke of Devonshire. How is this statement to be reconciled with the fact that it does meet, and that its members support Mr. Chamberlain’s proposals?
Printed unsigned in newspaper; entered by Wodehouse in Money Received for Literary Work.
The reader is referred to the notes to the Parrot poems for the context of these comments.