Daily Express, Monday, November 2, 1903

Poem 29

(By P. G. Wodehouse)



Mr. Barrie says the classes
Are distinguished from the masses
For this reason, that their meal-times
Number nearly half a score.
Thought the Parrot, “Ah, precisely.
That may suit them now quite nicely,
Soon they’ll spare their Little Marys, 1
For Their food will cost them more.

When he shirked his daily ration
Succi caused a great sensation, 2
And “I wonder why he does it?”
Asked each puzzled visitor.
But the Parrot thought, explaining,
“Why, he must get into training,
For he knows that in the future
All his food will cost him more.

On the other hand, a glutton
After finishing the mutton,
Swallowed steak and fried potatoes
Till he fell upon the floor.
To rebukes he made this answer,
“I must take in all I can sir;
Though it’s cheap enough at present,
Food is going to cost you more.

And the Parrot, as he eyed him,
With congratulation plied him;
“If you die of apoplexy
Your demise we’ll all deplore.
But keep tucking in at present,
(Try a little wing of pheasant?)
You will have few other chances,
For Your food will cost you more.



See Poem 06.


Giovanni Succi was an Italian who, in the late 19th century, achieved notoriety by undertaking prolonged fasts for exhibition purposes.