The Family Scapegrace.

Vanity Fair (UK), April 19, 1906

(Speaking of a celebrated centre three-quarter, a football paper says that he was originally a full back, “and it was a great grief to his father when he changed his place.”)

Oh, no, we never mention him,
 His name is never heard:
Concerning this abandoned boy,
 We never say a word.
Forsaking all the prospects which
 Undoubtedly he had,
And deaf to all our prayers, he went
 Completely to the bad.

Our John has gone to Aldershot,
 Our Bertie to the Bar,
Our Willie (an explorer he)
 To foreign lands afar;
And Sammy to our ancient name
 Fresh lustre’s sure to add;
He’s gone to Oxford, brainy youth:—
 But Dick’s gone to the bad.

Full back he used to play, and he
 Was making quite a name,
Till, deaf to conscience’s appeal,
 Three-quarters he became:
Yes; heedless of his mother’s tears,
 The anguish of his dad,
He threw up his career, and went
 Completely to the bad.



Printed unsigned in Vanity Fair; entered by Wodehouse in Money Received for Literary Work.