The World, November 27, 1906
 

AN OLYMPIA NIGHTMARE.

 

As through the show at eve we went,
   The motorist and I,
His eyes were bright: he waved his hands:
He pointed gaily at the stands
   Which we were passing by.
And oh the technical remarks
On clutches, switches, plugs, and sparks!

I am a plain, rough, rugged man,
   And frankly do not know
The subtle difference between
The various parts of the machine,
   And what makes motors go.
But oh the expert’s deep remarks
On carburetters, cranks, and sparks!

My interest was all assumed,
   My “Really’s!” insincere.
Of Greek and other classic lore
I have an enviable store,
   But—I’m no engineer.
And oh the deluge of remarks
On tonneaux, second speeds, and sparks.

At last, long last, he said Farewell;
   (He had to meet his wife).
My head ached, and I wished that I
Could simply creep away and die:
   I did not value life.
And oh my pungent, crisp remarks
On clutches, switches, plugs, and sparks!

p. g. wodehouse.    

 

 

Note:
The fourth British International Motor Show, sponsored by the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders, was held at the Olympia exhibition hall in West Kensington, London, from November 15 to 24, 1906.