Madame Eulalie’s Rare PlumsThe Daily Mail, November 10, 1913
JOHN BIRKETT’S
DAY.
——♦——
HARLEQUIN THREE-QUARTER
IN FORM.
By P. G. WODEHOUSE.
Harlequins ... 21 pts. Northampton ... 0
“Dash the lad, what spirits he does enjoy, to be sure.” I allude to John G. Birkett, the human cyclone, the largest centre three-quarter in captivity. At Twickenham on Saturday he was like some genial master at a private school playing football with the boys. He sprinted about the field, doing just what he liked with the Northampton defence. Once, when about to be tackled, he rose in the air like an aeroplane, soared for a few yards, then volplaned to earth near the goal-line. He got three tries and was partly responsible for the other two. It was his field-day.
The total inability of the Northampton three-quarters to field their passes made the game, quâ game, rather uninteresting. There never was a time, except in the first few minutes when Northampton looked like scoring. That was when a forward rush took them to the line. It was hard on the forwards, who played hard all the time, that their outsides should have been so feeble.
Brooding on the game from my eyrie in the Press-box, I could not understand why the Northampton handling should have been so poor. The ball seemed dry enough. Perhaps it was the wind, or winds, of which about seven were blowing simultaneously from different directions. At any rate (or be that as it may, if you prefer it, the Northampton three-quarters played like astigmatic rabbits, and the Harlequins were soon three points up through a forceful sprint by Thorne, the movement having been started by a clever run by Sibree.
BIRKETT TAKES CHARGE.
Sibree, by the way, showed signs for a time of being about to play lead in the afternoon’s drama. For a while he was quite the best of the Harlequin outsides. Then old Squire Birkett took charge, and nobody else mattered at all.
The second Harlequin try was a very fine piece of work. Sibree made a clever opening, and after all the backs had handled, Lambert, fed by Birkett on the line, raced round behind the posts. He converted his own try.
This was all before half-time. After the restart, Cook nearly scored with a dribble, and for a few moments Northampton pressed hotly. But, golly, the alleged passing of those three-quarters! A revolting spectacle. The Harlequin forwards eventually broke away, and Birkett, receiving the ball near half-way, romped through and scored in the corner—a straight, fifty-yards dash. Lambert just failed with the kick.
The next item of interest was a great run by Lambert, who was finally brought down in the Northampton 25. Roberts tried to drop a goal, and Lambert, following up, seemed to have scored, but the referee ordered a scrum at the spot where Roberts had made his effort. From this, Sibree kicked across, and Birkett, dashing in and gathering like a Cinquevalli, handed off all would-be tacklers, and stored under the posts. Lambert converted.
It was shortly after this that Birkett did his big aeroplane speciality. The result of it was to bring play near the Northampton line. The Northampton forwards worked the ball back to half-way.
“Whoops! Let’s do it again!” is evidently Birkett’s motto. Getting the ball on the half-way line, he went, as Mr. Redmond would say, full-speed ahead, for the harbour-bar. Northampton outsides clutched him and flew off like men who have tried unsuccessfully to board a moving motor-bus. He finished up between the posts, and Lambert again converted.
No-side came a minute later, so no more about Birkett for the present.
Notes:
John G. Birkett: English international rugby union player (1884–1967); played for England 1906–12, sometimes as captain of the side. More at Wikipedia.
Herbert Sibree: English rugby scrum-half (1885–1962); played for England 1908–09. More at ESPN UK website.
Cinquevalli: Not a rugby player, but a German juggler (1859–1918) popular in English music halls. More at Wikipedia.
“Whoops! Let’s do it again”: A popular song by William Hargreaves and John Neat, apparently new in the UK in 1913; it was featured in an Australian pantomime of “Forty Thieves” in 1914, and not registered for USA copyright until 1915. A well-worn period recording is at the Internet Archive.
Redmond … full-speed ahead: John Redmond (1856–1918), Irish nationalist politician, member of the UK House of Commons 1881–1918. More at Wikipedia. The phrase “full speed ahead” is mentioned along with him in a 1914 article in the Outlook.