My worthy, but misguided, man,
   Your spirit I commend;
But still, in your ingenious plan
   I see a flaw, my friend:
Not everyone of ample girth
   Has money of his own:
The mightiest millionaires on earth
   Are often skin and bone.

The widow and the orphan lose
   Their customary all
Quite frequently to people whose
   Physique is slight and small:
And shrewd financiers, by the score,
   With flattering success,
Have ground the faces of the poor
   At eight stone six, or less.

In future go, remembering this,
   With caution on your way:
Eschew insidious prejudice;
   Think well before you slay.
Don’t pink a man because you see
   He’s stout enough to burst:
Pause ’ere you draw your snickersnee;
   Inspect his pass-book first.

Notes:

 

TOO HAPPY TO LIVE. Victor Bosc, a Paris publican, while standing contentedly before his shop Tuesday, was stabbed by a stranger. The murderer, when arrested, said he “could not stand the satisfied look of that fat, bloated capitalist”; he objected on principle to “people with such paunches.” (Portsmouth Evening News, June 15, 1904)

 

— John Dawson    

 

eight stone six: 118 pounds